Taken for a ride

As I write, the European Individual Championships are taking place at Plovdiv, in Bulgaria. This is both a massive tournament, and a massively strong one - some 350 players are involved, of whom no fewer than 15 are rated over 2700. But the events on the board have been completely overshadowed by what has happened off the board.

The European Championships does not exactly have a great reputation for the dignity with which it treats players. In previous years, there were several scandals, surrounding the so-called "official hotel" policy. This was an ingenious new method of financing tournaments, which was first used at the European Championships. As a condition of playing, all players were required to stay (at their own expense) in the designated official hotel,  where they were charged 2-3 times the normal room rate. At first, a few players tried to move out, but, as Grandmaster Sergey Tiviakov reported at the time, all such attempts "were ruthlessly crushed by the organisers", who promptly excluded such players from the next round's pairings. In effect, the players were paying for their own prize money, as well as their own expenses.

After several years of protests, this particular rip-off seems to have been dropped, but attacks on the players' dignity continue. Unfortunately, the European Chess Union is now run by the ghastly Silvio "Danny Boy" Danailov, so players should have realised what they were in for. In this year's event, the new ECU dress code is in force. So too, are the so-called "Sofia Rules" (devised by...er...Silvio Danailov...), preventing draw agreements in under 40 moves. And, to cap it all, the ludicrous FIDE "zero tolerance" rule is applied, under which any player who is not sitting at the board, correctly attired, having washed behind his ears, and with his arms folded and facing the front, when the arbiter starts the round, is automatically defaulted.

The effects of this have already been seen several times. A few days ago, all of the Georgian players were defaulted en masse, the day after the clocks went forward - they don't have Daylight Saving in Georgia, and so were somewhat baffled by the whole business of adjusting clocks. One story says they put theirs back instead of forward. Whatever, they all got defaulted for being late, although it sounds as though this might well have happened even under a more sensible default regime.

But far worse is what has happened over the last 24 hours. Yesterday in round 8, Shakriyar Mamedyarov, the second seed, was defaulted, because he was 8 seconds too late sitting down at his board! Yes, that's right - 8 frigging seconds! And then today, he and his opponent agreed a draw inside 40 moves, without first paying due obeisance to Danny Boy and the (presumably) hundreds of arbiters he must have around the place, to enforce all these rules. Mamedyarov and opponent were both defaulted, at which point "Shak" drew the only appropriate conclusion, and withdrew from the tournament - doubtless a grand or so poorer, having paid his own travel and accommodation expenses.

What can one say? In the specific case of Mamedyarov, anyone who has had dealings with him will probably suspect that he was not especially near the front of the queue, when the interpersonal skills were being handed out, and so may not feel very sympathetic towards him. A few years ago, for example, he behaved quite outrageously at the Aeroflot Open, in accusing his opponent, Igor Kurnosov, of computer cheating, without a scrap of evidence. He has displayed a certain lack of emotional stability on other occasions, too. Agreeing the draw without waiting for 40 moves was especially silly.

But the fact remains that this "zero tolerance" nonsense has gone on far too long. And who is to blame? Well, naturally the Kalmykian space-traveller was the original culprit, but the real blame has to lie with the players themselves. I have never yet come across one single chessplayer who thinks the rule is sensible, yet it is still in force. The players could end it within the hour. All they need to do is take a leaf out of professional cycling. Every time that sport's cretinous organisers go too far, and impose some rule the peleton are unhappy with, the riders simply go on strike. In the Tour de France, several years ago, they did just that. When ordered to wear full safety helmets throughout the mountain stages, despite 120 degree heat, they just lined up at the start of the next stage, and when the bell went to start the race, they....just sat there. They refused to pedal, for an hour or more, and just sat on the line, chatting to one another. Eventually, the race organisers relented, withdrew the offending rule, and the Tour resumed.

Collective action, Tour de France style

If chessplayers at a major FIDE or ECU event, such as the Olympiad or European Campionships, simply sat at the boards at the start of the round, and then made clear that nobody would make a move, on any board, until the zero tolerance rule was withdrawn, there would be the end of it. What are the organisers going to do? Wait an hour and a half, until all the white players' flags drop, and then score every game 0-1? OK, fine. Next day, the players do the same again. I think the Olympiad organisers would soon realise that their event was going to be a farce, if every game in every round, ended 0-1, without a move being made.

But no, chessplayers never organise themselves in such collective action. Instead, they moan and complain, and send "open letters" to poor old Mark Crowther at TWIC. And nothing happens.

At the end of the day, chessplayers have the chess world they deserve. It goes without saying that anyone who chooses to play in a tournament organised by the likes of Silvio Danailov deserves all he gets. But I can't help feeling it is a shame. "Chess used to have class", as Ulf Andersson once said. Those days are long gone.

When the masochist meets the sadist

A masochist meets a sadist. The masochist says "Please hurt me!". The sadist says "No!".
(Very old joke)

Many chessplayers are familiar with helpmate problems, where the two sides work together to bring about a mate. But another problem genre is the selfmate. In this form of problem, White moves first and tries to force Black to mate him. Black is trying NOT to mate White. It is the chessboard equivalent of the masochist coming up against the sadist.

Success in such problems usually involves White bringing about a situation where the black king is in check, and the only way out is to play a move, which itself mates the white king. The following is an example to raise a smile. It is pretty hard to imagine the scanty Black army mating the white king, which has so much freedom. However, by a careful manoeuvre, the black pieces are lured down the board, rank by rank, until eventually, he is forced to administer the coup de grace. The problem comes from the selection to be found on the BCPS website.

Termitewatch (16) - please give generously!

What with Comic Relief, Sports Relief, Children in Need and the rest, I hope you are not suffering from charity fatigue, because another "good cause" has zoomed onto the horizon. Over at the Egregious Chess Forum, the Chief Censor, Carl "Old Mother" Hibbard, has been rattling the collection tin:

This forum is now looking for a little sponsorship, well at least to cover some of my costs - anything beyond that will be given back to chess

I am sure all my readers will be only too happy to contribute their hard-earned to keep the termites going. However, I can't help feeling that Old Mother has missed a trick. All he needs to do is start charging contributors 5p for every spelling or grammatical error they make in their forum posts. On that basis, Ernie "Good Moaning" Lazenby alone could single-handedly fund the greatest expansion English chess has seen in a generation...

Tory fundraiser resigns over PM access row

"Of course, donors can have dinner with me for considerably less than £250,000". 

ECF in "correct accounting" shock!

The world of English chess was rocked to its foundations last night, after it was revealed that a financial transaction has been correctly documented at the Egregious Chess Federation. According to an unofficial report by the federation's Finance Committee, an invoice for £3.60 issued by the Federation's Battle office last month "had the correct date on it and even included 60p VAT".

The Federation's CEO, Mr Aintwortha Farthing, issued a statement last night, in which he admitted "The report shows that we got something right, and need to make changes to avoid a recurrence of this wholly unacceptable situation".

But critics were quick to suggest that this may be only the tip of the iceberg. Former police inspector Ernie "Good Moaning" Crabtree claimed to reporters that "Forthing is being hypelessly compleecent. I have been sowing for minths that the accainting was a shimbles".

But the Federation's President, Lord Egghead of Stonewall, insisted last night that this was an isolated incident, telling reporters: "Some people get paperwork right. Get over it."

CJ de Mooi is 41. Er, no, sorry, 46. Oops, no, 9 years were handled by him personally and didn't go through the books, so make that 37...Ah, but then there's the VAT...(continued p.94)  

Moves we would all like to play (20)

A first for this series - a move that someone actually did play.

Arkell - Holland, High Wycombe, 2012

In this position, White appears lost - a rook hangs, and Qe3 is a threat. But Arkell had seen an amazing move.

29. Qd8!!

Stunning, and the only move to keep White on the board, as the computer confirms. After the forced sequence 29...Rxd8 30.exd3 Bxe1 31. Kxe1, White had the better rook ending, which he duly won.

GM Keith Arkell. You know who I mean - that boring grinder, who doesn't do tactics...

PS. 24 March 2012.

I have received an e-mail from Amatzia Avni this morning, pointing out the remarkable similarity between Arkell's 29.Qd8 above, and the following famous position:

Black is faced with mate threats, but saves himself with 1...Qc1!! Mark Dvoretsky analysed this position in one of his books. I am not sure if Keith knew of the predecessor example, but the similarity in ideas is remarkable.

My thanks to Amatzia for pointing this out.

Yuri Razuvaev 1945-2012

At approximately 18.00 Moscow time last night, Grandmaster Yuri Razuvaev passed away, after a long illness. His was a name not so well-known in the West, but in his native Russia he was enormously respected, as a player with a deep understanding of the game, and a really exceptional trainer. He was a regular instructor at the Smyslov chess school, and Grandmaster Krasenkov, who was a product of that school, was one of many GMs who paid warm tributes to Razuvaev last night.

Krasenkov particularly recalled Razuvaev's lectures about the games of Akiba Rubinstein, on which he was a great expert. He co-wrote the main Russian language book on Rubinstein, and ever since its appearance, it has been regarded as one of the best such books in the whole of Russian chess literature. Another GM, Mikhail Marin of  Roumania, has written of how he carried this book with him throughout his army national service, and it helped keep him from dying of boredom!

Photo: fide-trainer-academy.com

I never met Razuvaev myself, but I do recall the tone of deep respect, with which his name was pronounced by my Russian trainer and friend, Igor Belov, and other Russian players. It is sad indeed to hear of his demise, at a relatively early age.

The following game was one of his best. The pawn sacrifice h4 was one of his own theoretical contributions.

Some chessplayers do 'ave 'em!

With the ECF's annual Finance Council Meeting coming up on 14 April, a report has just been published by the Chairman of the Federation's Finance Committee, Mike Truran. The report is the result of a review he carried out into two main areas, namely the annual accounts for 2010-11 and the sponsorship of the 2011 British Championships. It makes truly devastating reading for the entire ECF Management Board, and especially its Dear Leader.

The full report can be downloaded as a Word document here, but a few quotes will convey the gist, particularly regarding the Sheffield fiasco. Truran concludes that "...controls over sponsorship-related income and expenditure for the 2011 British Championships were wholly inadequate". He also confirms that "...the ECF's own Bye Law requirements in respect of sponsorship arrangements have not been adhered to", and states that there has been a "...failure to draw a clear line between sponsorship arrangements that are managed and accounted for by the ECF and sponsorship arranged on a private basis with which the ECF has no involvement".

The details of this shambles get worse and worse. Truran describes invoices issued without even bearing dates, and which do not distinguish VAT amounts separately. As a direct result, the Federation is some 9 months late accounting to HMRC for £2,600 of VAT, relating to the Darwin sponsorship money. In a masterpiece of understatement, Truran observes that "None of this is likely to go down well should the ECF have a VAT inspection at any point". In fact, it will almost certainly result in interest and penalties being imposed.

Truran's report also confirms that CJ de Mooi submitted an invoice for £12,600 sponsorship expenses paid directly by him. "No documentation was provided with this invoice to support this invoice (sic), nor was the invoice reviewed and countersigned by another ECF Director. Nonetheless, the invoice was paid without question". The invoice was also submitted without any VAT. As a result, the ECF has failed to reclaim any deductible input VAT that may have been incurred on the relevant expenses, money which, as Alex McFarlane points out, could have gone towards the 2012 event.

And so it goes on. Of course, much of this was first revealed on the present blog. Indeed, Alex raises the pertinent question of when the Finance Director first became aware of all this, and whether the concerns which had been raised by the Congress Managers were ignored, until publicly revealed by the present blog.

But perhaps the bit that stunned me the most was Truran's recommendation that "...as a matter of urgency, the Board develops a properly documented set of expense authorisation procedures...".  Er, sorry?? You mean that no such procedures exist?? This is a body which has been in existence for 108 years, yet it seems it still has no properly documented set of procedures for reimbursing Board members' expenses! And let's be clear about this - we are talking here about YOUR money. When these appalling people get their way (as I am sure they will), from within a matter of months, every chessplayer in this country is likely to find himself forced to subsidise them, via compulsory membership, even if one's chess is limited to a few club and league games in one's local area.

"The ECF want me to devise new accounting procedures for them, Betty!" (photo: tee2i.org)

Even on the most generous interpretation of events, it is clear that the leadership of the Egregious Chess Federation have elevated administrative incompetence to an art form. The words "piss-up" and "brewery" may not actually appear in Truran's report, but they echo resoundingly through every sentence. If chess in this country is ever to recover from its present nadir, de Mooi and his bunch of useless, malignant hangers-on have to go, lock, stock and barrel.

From the House of the Dead

The Russian site chess-news.ru has a nice interview with multiple former Soviet champion, Lev Psakhis. Entitled "Congratulations on your return, Lev Borisovich", the interview recounts Psakhis' return from the edge of death. A year or so ago, he came within weeks of dying from liver disease, before a suitable organ became available and a transplant operation was performed.  Happily, he is restored to far better health now, although from the latest photo (see link above), he still looks far from well.

I saw Grandmaster Psakhis several times at tournaments, such as in Antwerp and the Isle of Man, in the mid-1990s. By then, his glory days had already passed, invitations to top events had dried up, and he was forced to trawl the open circuit. He had become less ambitious, often making draws against strong opponents. But watching his post-mortems, there was no mistaking his sheer class and depth of understanding of chess. He shared first place in back-to-back USSR Championships in 1980 and 1981 (tying with Belyavsky and Kasparov respectively), something that nobody ever did by chance. At the Isle of Man tournament in 1999, I watched while he played a wonderful 30-odd moves as Black in a Winawer French against Nigel Short, giving a virtual masterclass to his powerful opponent, only to go astray and lose. I still remember vividly the generosity of Short's reaction after the game - when Psakhis extended his hand in resignation, Short immediately said "I'm so sorry, that was scandalous. You totally outplayed me!".

l to r: Mark Dvoretsky, Artur Yusupov and Lev Psakhis (photo: chessbase.com)

As well as a tremendous player, Psakhis was also incredibly friendly and approachable, always willing to analyse, even with the weakest amateur opponents, and patiently explaining where they had gone wrong. I was deeply sorry to hear of his terrible health problems, and am delighted now that he appears to have overcome the worst. It seems unlikely that his health will ever be robust enough for a return to serious chess,but I am sure he still has plenty to give to the game, as a trainer. I hope I get the chance to meet him again one day, but for now, I would join in with the folks at chess-news.ru, in saying "Welcome back, Lev Borisovich!".

Below is a game of Psakhis', which has always impressed me, simply because of the nice prophylactic queen
manoeuvre Qd1-f1, at moves 17-18. From f1, the queen holds up both of Black's thematic pawn breaks b5 and d5, and later, the queen emerges on h3, and takes part in the decisive attack. The notes to the game are taken from Megabase, and are by my friend and former trainer, Russian IM, Igor Belov.

Tales from the Bedlam Brigade

A comment posted on the Egregious Forum yesterday, by Justin "Care in the Community" Horton:

Can you have a glove puppet on your hand when you make your moves, press the clock, write down the move and so on? Has anybody ever done so?

(I had this idle thought when working today, since I quite often have such a puppet on my hand when working.)

At the same time as Horton was posting the above, his fellow Bedlam Brigaders on the S&B blog were attacking Ray Keene for...liking halloumi cheese!

Like policeman, it seems there's never a man in a white coat around, when you want one.

"I call this meeting of the S&B blog Executive Committee to order" (Photo: United Artists)

"Lutheran Pastor" elected German President - a termite comments!

"A bathroom brush and a what??" (photo: gringoes.com)

Moves we would all like to play (19)

Over at the Egregious Forum, Jack Rudd recently posted what he described as his favourite endgame study. Sadly, he also confessed to being unable to recall the composer's name. Naturally, this omission could easily have been rectified, had he purchased a copy of Harold van der Heijden's wonderful endgame study database!

The study is indeed very nice. It is by the Soviet composer, T Gorgiev, and took 3rd Honourable Mention, in the composing tourney, dedicated to the Third Moscow International Tournament in 1936.

Archbishop to stand down in December

"Of course, when I invented the post of Archbishop of Canterbury..."

Tata Steel king

One of my all-time favourite chess websites is Tim Krabbe's site, with its wonderful mix of the bizarre, the brilliant, the curious and the touching. Alas, nowadays, Tim is busy with other things and his site is pretty much dormant, but by way of carrying on his excellent work, and as a small personal tribute to Tim, I present below a game, which would surely have featured in his Open Chess Diary, had it still been active.

One of the various themes which Tim was always looking out for was the "Steel king". This is a king, which manages to march most or all of the way to the other side of the board, during the middlegame. The name itself is a pun - apart from the association with the metal itself (a king which marches into the enemy position, under fire from a board full of pieces, is pretty strong and durable, of course), there is also a reference to White's king in the following classic game:

Tim's Open Diary, item 72, has a full discussion of this remarkable game.

He was always on the lookout for modern examples, and today I spotted one in the latest issue of New in Chess magazine. It comes from the B Group at the Tata Steel Wijk aan Zee tournament, in January this year. It seems curiously appropriate that we should have a Steel King, in a tournament sponsored by the world's largest steel producer!

Stonewalls do not a prison make

The Dutch Stonewall is one of those openings, which has always had a very bad press, but is actually hugely better than its reputation. Botvinnik wrought a fair bit of havoc with it in his younger days, and both he and Bronstein relied on it (and the Dutch more generally) as their main defence during their 1951 world championship match. Even the young Kramnik used it successfully a number of times. Despite all this, the prejudice regarding the nightmare "bad bishop" ending has prevented it ever becoming popular, and the power of fashion results in most club players dismissing the line.

Yet it is actually a very solid and practical way to play, with almost no forcing lines, and where an understanding of ideas matters much more than knowledge of theory - perfect for the average amateur player, I would say. As to the reputation, remember what Bent Larsen (another successful Stonewaller) said: "Maybe the best players of today play the white side better than Flohr and co [Botvinnik's opponents] in the 1930s. Maybe. But do your opponents?"

Beware Stonewaller! GM Viktor Moskalenko (photo: Chessbase)

Two modern players who have made me think better of the Stonewall are my friends IM Robert Bellin, and GM Viktor Moskalenko. The latter recently sent me several of his latest games with the opening. Here is one, an impressive example of how easily things can turn against White, if he is careless:

I would recommend the average player to give the Stonewall another look. The main thing to remember is not to rush with the crude attacking plan Qe8-h5, which rarely works and is responsible for many of the black horror stories in this opening (it is ironic that Botvinnik, one of the line's greatest practitioners, tended to play it precisely this way. He won despite that fact, not because of it!). Central plans with Bd6-Qe7, and b6-Bb7 or Bd7-e8-h5, are generally much better.   

"No cleavage" women's dress code sensation!

"I'm the new FIDE Dress Code Inspector" (photo: goodreads.com)

New Fischer game

Last Friday would have been Bobby Fischer's 69th birthday. A day or two earlier, Edward Winter published a facsimile of the scoresheet, in Fischer's handwriting, of a hitherto unknown game between Fischer and Yugoslav chess great Svetozar Gligoric. It is apparently a training game, played in 1992. The scoresheet comes from a new, massive, two-volume publication called In Memoriam, which contains items from the unique collection of chess material and memorabilia, assembled by the American collector, David de Lucia. Winter's item CN 7537 gives details of where you can purchase this remarkable-sounding work, but before trying to do so, be sure you speak to your mortgage broker - it costs $1,000 a time!

(photo: time.com)

The game against Gligoric shows Fischer still playing very strongly, despite his 20-year absence from top chess. The scoresheet (which you can find here) is not 100% clear, but the score below was reconstructed by Belgian GM, Luc Winants, and appears logical:

The Chess Destruction Federation

Two days ago, the following announcement appeared on the website of the Egregious Chess Federation:

We regret to announce that Howard Grist has stepped down as International Rating Officer. The ECF expresses its appreciation for Howard’s hard work and wishes him well.

Behind this bland announcement lies an interesting tale, which is highly characteristic of the pernicious influence of the ECF on British chess, over several decades.

The real, and (naturally) undisclosed reason for Grist's departure is a dispute between himself and Sean Hewitt, organiser of the e2e4 series of events. For those unfamiliar with the e2e4 series, there is a report here, which gives more detail; for the present, suffice it to say that it is a series of FIDE-rated events, organised in various parts of the country, which have already given over 1500 different players the opportunity to play rated games, in fine playing conditions and professionally organised tournaments.

One would think that a national federation, the second article of whose constitution states that one of its purposes is "To promote national and international chess tournaments in England" would welcome the emergence of such popular and successful events. But in reality, nothing could be further from the truth. About 18 months ago, the series almost came to a complete halt, after Grist, the ECF's then newly-appointed rating officer, refused to continue rating the events on the basis that had hitherto been accepted. This was despite the fact that FIDE themselves had never queried the rating basis. Grist and his ECF masters only backed down, after Hewitt threatened a total discontinuance of the e2e4 events.

Now history appears to have repeated itself. The latest e2e4 event, held at Brighton in February, has still not been fully rated, thereby costing ten of the participants the rated games for which they had paid. This is once again because the ECF has apparently refused to agree the basis on which the event should be rated.

I will not bore you with the technical details of the dispute, but in essence, the issue is whether Hewitt's interpretation of the rating rules is correct or not. The rules are silent on the specific issue concerned, so Hewitt chose an interpretation which looks plausible, and which also has the side-effect of saving him a small amount of money (barely £30), since it results in the rating fees paid to FIDE for the events being lower than they would otherwise be. The ECF rating officer, actively supported by "Odious" Adam Raoof, claimed that Hewitt's treatment breached the rating regulations, but when challenged to specify the regulation breached, they were unable to do so. After weeks of delay, e-mails ignored, and general ignorant inaction from the ECF, Sean Hewitt himself e-mailed FIDE for a ruling; within just a few hours, he received a reply, confirming his treatment was correct!

What happened then is unclear. Hewitt had already taken the precaution of convening an EGM of the Federation, with two motions: to remove Grist from office and replace him, and to transfer responsibility for the rating of international events from the Home Director (Odious Adam) to the International Director (Loz Cooper). The latter, it seems, has been unflinching in his support of Sean Hewitt's position, apparently at the cost of putting himself out on a limb with other Board members. However, before Sean could proceed with his EGM, it was announced that Grist was no longer in post. Meanwhile, the event in question still remains unrated. 

This appalling tale of a national federation, seemingly determined to make life as difficult as possible for British organisers, would be hard to believe, were it not for the existence of precedents. In particular, some 20 years ago, the 4NCL, Britain's national chess league, was launched, by organiser Chris Dunworth. For donkey's years, people had been complaining about the absence of a national chess league in this country, but the then BCF did nothing about it, so Dunworth stepped in. Within 2-3 seasons, the 4NCL had become the biggest chess event in the country, attracting almost all of our top players.

And what was the reaction of the BCF? Were they pleased by this new development? Were they hell. Instead, they actively tried to destroy the 4NCL! Lest any reader think I am exaggerating, let me quote  Grandmaster John Nunn, writing in his 2005 book, Secrets of Grandmaster Chess:

"One might have thought that the BCF which, under 'Objects of the Federation' on its website gives 'to encourage the study and practice of chess in the Commonwealth', would have been pleased at the introduction of a new and popular chess event. Far from it. I attended a BCF meeting on a matter unrelated to the 4NCL and was astonished by a discussion which centred on how to destroy the upstart 4NCL…"

Luckily, the ECF is almost as useless at destroying events as it is at promoting them, and they never did succeed in killing the 4NCL. Nonetheless, they tried, which says it all.

Since the time Nunn is describing, the identities of most of the ECF leadership have changed, but not their attitude, it seems. As I wrote in a previous blog post, the federation's motto seems to be "New faces, same faeces".

ECF rating officer row - Hewitt gets tough!

"OK, OK! I'll rate the friggin' Brighton e2e4 tournament!" (Photo: altfg.com)

Termitewatch (15) - Beware of marauding Scots

It is always interesting to observer termitic two-facedness, in regard to the issue of copyright theft. Whilst clambering repeatedly on their high horses over allegations that Ray Keene may or may not have purloined the odd bit of analysis of the Lisitsin Gambit, Old Mother Hibbard and his gang show absolutely no compunction about stealing copyrighted items belonging to others. I have already once had to demand the removal from the Egregious Forum of one of my photos. In the past 24 hours, the termites have reproduced the brilliancy Keene-Miles, complete with Keene's own annotations, naturally without making the merest attempt to obtain permission!

Now another of their number, one Geoff Chandler, has weighed in. As far as I can establish from his various past offerings, Chandler seems to regard himself as something of a Caissic Frankie Boyle. He does, in truth, occasionally exhibit a modicum of Boyle's offensiveness, but of the latter's wit there is, alas, no trace. Chandler's latest contribution is a truly side-splitting one-liner about myself, based around a photo of me. The photo was actually taken by Frederic Friedel of Chessbase, at Wijk aan Zee, a few years ago, but no reader of the Egregious Forum would know that, because the picture is unattributed. Given that Chandler does not  have the courtesy to credit the picture to Friedel, I think we can discount the chances that the cretinous Caledonian has actually sought or obtained permission to use it.

And whilst these acts of online piracy are taking place before their very eyes on the Egregious Forum, where are the fearless moderators of the said piece of cyberspace, led by self-appointed Censor in Chief, Carl "Old Mother" Hibbard? Too busy banning contributors such as Michael J R White, it seems. White is currently serving his second spell in Coventry, in the space of a couple of weeks, for daring to question the divine authority of Old Mother. To illustrate the scrupulous fairness with which the latter wields his unlimited authority, he justified the first ban by saying:

Enough, banned for 24 hours just for being annoying

I have alerted Ray Keene and my friends at Chessbase to these latest copyright violations. Let's hope a letter or two from M'learned Friends are on their way to Old Mother's cupboard, along with that of his web host.

PS. 19.10pm - The Caledonian Cretin replies:

Chandler's carefully-considered legal defence is as follows:

"It's the internet. It's free".

Still, at least he got two successive apostrophes correct. That must be some kind of record for the Egregious Chess Forum.

When two players do the same thing...

When two players do the same thing, it is not the same thing.

Chess proverb

Over on the Egregious Forum, the termites continue to witter about Ray Keene and Olympiads. One of their number inevitably offered to rake up "the shenanigans surrounding the 1974 event". For those who are not familiar with this piece of Bedlam Brigade folklore, it is the claim that Keene's GM norm at the 1974 Nice Olympiad (the first GM norm ever recorded by a British player) had been made at the expense of Bill Hartston. Having clinched his norm with several rounds to spare, Keene, with the agreement of his captain, David Anderton, did not play any more games, lest he spoil the norm (in those days, players could not "freeze" a norm partway through an event, as they can nowadays). Hartston played one or two games that he would have preferred not to, and lost his own GM norm chances, such as they were.  He never did become a GM, of course, although he clearly deserved to by today's standards. The termite school of history blames it all on Ray Keene.

Curiously, the "poor old Bill Hartston" school never mentions the events of the last round at the previous Olympiad, Skopje 1972, where Hartston completed his final IM norm. England faced Israel, with Hartston playing Kraidman on board two (Keene crushed Kagan on top board in a fine game, incidentally, thereby helping England win Final Group B. But that is by the by). Hartston needed a draw to clinch his IM title. After 23 moves, this was his position:

Kraidman-Hartston, White to play

As you can see, although not totally without practical chances, Black is objectively losing. However, by this time, there was only one other game going, the board 4 game Wade - Kaldor. This was the position on that board:

Wade - Kaldor, White to play

Clearly, Wade is completely winning.

But now Hartston's guardian angel smiled on him. It just so happened that Wade's opponent also needed a draw, for an IM norm! England captain David Anderton went to his Israeli opposite number and offered two draws! After some negotiation, the package deal was done. Both games went down as draws, thus securing Hartston his IM title (and also a board prize, I believe).

Now, I am not saying there was anything unacceptable about this, and I certainly do not begrudge Bill Hartston his well-deserved IM title. That is the nature of team events, and in those days, especially, such package deals and horse-trading were standard practice. Just like, in fact, resting a player who had made a norm and did not wish to risk it by playing further games. There is only one real difference between the two situations - in one, Ray Keene was the beneficiary, in the other, Bill Hartston. It goes without saying that in termite land, that makes the first a capital offence, and the second worthy of a medal. If it had been Ray Keene who was in Hartston's position here, we would never have heard the end of how poor old Bob Wade had been cheated out of a critical half point by the evil, scheming Keene and the England captain, who was clearly in Keene's pocket...etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

Actually, now I come to think of it, having Keene in the Hartston role here would have dovetailed beautifully with what happened in 2008. Then, as we know, Keene murdered Bob Wade, by forcing him, against his will, to play in the GM section of the Staunton Memorial when aged 88, knowing full well that Wade would lose all his games and would inevitably die a few months later, of a combination of exhaustion and humiliation. If he had owed his IM title  to Wade's generosity, what a story that would have been!

I wonder if they are still looking for new scripts for Midsomer Murders?

Moves we would all like to play (18)

The latest issue of The Problemist has just arrived, always a highlight of every second month. A nice feature of 2012 has been the return of my friend Yochanan Afek as author of the endgame studies column. Being a composing genius means that one can knock out charming studies, as presents for special occasions, and Yochanan often produces compositions dedicated to individual chess tournaments. He did so for the participants of the Tata Steel tournament at Wijk aan Zee earlier this year, coming up with the very nice effort below. Have a go at solving it, before you look through the solution.

Taking the urine - indeed!

Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. It was all a hoax, from beginning to end, merely an exercise in termite-taunting. And it certainly worked a treat! The initial hoax, that CJ had been invited to captain England at the next Olympiad, drew no reaction at all, but once the termites thought that Ray Keene had been invited, there was much agitation.

Then Andrew Farthing, the outgoing CEO of the Egregious Federation, announced that it was all untrue, and should not be taken seriously. Followers of T-Shirtgate will know that Mr Farthing has been extremely reluctant to say anything publicly on the subject of Ray and CJ, and especially when it involved declaring public support for Alex and Lara, or condemning the attacks on them. But when it came to this issue, Farthing could not wait to interrupt his Sunday morning lie-in, to set the record straight. I guess it is all a question of priorities.

Finally, late last night, Ray gave the pot a further stir. He declared that he had merely indicated his availability, but had not been asked, and that now he finds he is not available on the dates in question anyway! Naturally, the termites had to interpret this in the most unfavourable way possible, suggesting that Ray had been after the job, and had decided "to dip his toe in the waters of public opinion", as one of the more ludicrous of the termitic number put it! And then our favourite termite of all, Justin "Care in the Community" Horton, put his size 9's squarely in the mess, by claiming that Ray's declaration that he was unavailable was "A vintage RDK squirm".

Sorry, old boys, you could not be more wrong. I can now reveal the full truth - it was a hoax, from the very start! On Saturday, Ray and CJ were together at the Varsity Match at the RAC Club. In the course of some animated banter, during the exclusive, invitation-only, black tie dinner that traditionally follows the match, CJ was moaning about the ECF Management Board's failure to do anything about appointing a captain for the next Olympiad. Lawrence Cooper has apparently indicated that he will not be available (I am not sure why), and CJ was wondering what he had to do to get the lump of collective inactivity, that is the Management Board, to actually do something about appointing a successor. Ray jokingly suggested that his name be put forward - that would be bound to stir them into action. Thus, the idea of the joke was born. Ray then tweeted on Saturday evening, and the rest, as they say, is history.

It was fun while it lasted. But the termites can't say I didn't warn them - just read the title of my original blog piece...

Taking the urine?

From Twitter tonight:

#cjdemooi president of #englishchessfederation asked tonight if i wd be interested in becoming captain of english olympiad team in istanbul. i am considering the possibility.

The next President of Israel?

Words fail me. At least, for now...


PS. 13.45pm.
Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! It seems I misread the tweets in question. It is not CJ who has been proposed as the new England team captain, but Grandmaster Ray Keene.! This is an altogether different matter, of course - an experienced grandmaster, who himself played in many Olympiads and served under such successful England captains as Hugh Alexander and David Anderton, Ray would be the ideal choice! 

The big switchover!

Welcome to the new Blogger version of my blog. As discussed in this post a few days ago, I have decided to switch blog platforms, in order to be able to incorporate on-screen game replays, which the hosted Wordpress platform does not allow. As an example of what I will now be able to do, here is a nice endgame study by my friend Yochanan Afek:

You can play through the moves, either by using the arrow buttons beneath the board, or by clicking individual moves within the notation pane. This is produced using Chessflash. I am indebted to David Friedgood, who kindly spent some time researching the various options and recommended Chessflash to me.

All previous blog posts will remain available at the old Wordpress.com blog here, but all updates will henceforth be made on this site. So please update your bookmarks!

"Of course, if Steve Giddins had consulted me initially, he would have chosen Blogger as his platform in the first place".

Hell hath no fury

Today is the day of the annual Varsity match, held at the RAC Club, in London’s Pall Mall. It is a fine, immensely traditional, occasion. Alas, although a graduate of Oxford, I never played in it. The closest I got was my freshman year, when I was top board for the second team – a bit like getting a vote of thanks from the Chairman. And, lest any of the termitic persuasion suspect otherwise, I have never even attended one -no, I don’t get an automatic invitation from The Times’ chess correspondent, nor do I expect one.

But I don’t resent it at all. On the contrary, I am delighted that, in a world of crumbling values, where “tradition” has become a term of abuse, some things still endure, and are still respected by the people who actually matter in the chess world. The fixture is not as strong as in the days when virtually the entire England team, plus reserves, were playing, but it remains an excellent event. I hope all present have a fine day, with some exciting chess, and afterwards a fine dinner, win or lose.

Sadly, some take their failure to make the team rather more bitterly.  

“I could have been a contender!”